Patience, My Dear, by Bower Lewis
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Patience, My Dear, by Bower Lewis
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In this quirky, romantic novel, in the irreverent spirit of Christopher Moore’s national bestseller Lamb, a young woman is getting texts from an iPhone-obsessed God, and she’s not okay with that. Her handsome new neighbor tries to intervene in the dispute, but is he on her side, or the Almighty’s?Patience Kelleher doesn’t want to be a soldier of the Lord. She doesn’t want His voice in her head, and she certainly doesn’t want Him texting her emoticon-laden messages about boy band singers and sinister solar power corporations. What would a cranky, twenty-three-year-old waitress know about preventing the Apocalypse? He’s got believers for that sort of thing, or the Army. All Patience wants is to keep a job she actually likes, and to avoid falling for her confounding new neighbor, if at all possible. When the Lord enlists said neighbor to convince her to step up, it doesn’t brighten her mood. That was dirty pool.Zane Grey Ellison doesn’t particularly want to be a soldier of the Lord either, but he’s keeping an open mind. His world’s been pretty skewed since he abandoned his father’s estate, and his preoccupation with the waitress across the street hasn’t helped him regain his equilibrium. The messages she’s receiving from a text-happy God don’t seem all that much more wondrous to him than his discovery of diner food, or the realization that not every girl in the world can be impressed by a Bugatti Veyron. In fact, if Patience would just stop bickering with the Lord for a minute, he believes they might even get the job done.Patience fights to keep her sanity as Zane fights to keep the peace, determined not to let the world die…not when it’s just getting good.
Patience, My Dear, by Bower Lewis- Amazon Sales Rank: #2103849 in Books
- Published on: 2015-03-24
- Released on: 2015-03-24
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.25" h x .90" w x 5.31" l, .0 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 304 pages
Review "A novel about a God who pesters the heroine through impudent text messages could go wrong in so many ways. It is a matter of celebration that Bower Lewis is clever enough to bring it off. Her first novel is witty and fast-paced, throwing off the kind of sparks that promise a great career in the world of fiction. It's too bad Frank Capra's not around to make the movie!"-Mark Childress, author of New York Times bestseller Georgia Bottoms and Crazy in Alabama"Fast cars, women with pink hair, guns, questionable politics, love, tequila, and missions from God? And all in one place? No, this isn't Ted Nugent's Excellent Adventure! This is Patience, My Dear, which just may be the best whacky, quirky, irreverent, God-texting caper I've read since The Bible! Seriously, though. If you can't stand being serious, you'll love this book!"-Garth Stein, author of New York Times bestseller The Art of Racing in the Rain"As things go horribly wrong, she must overcome a crisis of faith, open her heart to romance, and cope with God discovering Rickrolling."-Publishers Weekly
About the Author Bower Lewis writes off-beat mainstream fiction, infusing her novels with romance, humor, intrigue, and a touch of sex whenever she can get her characters to sit still long enough. She is the author of Patience, My Dear and the forthcoming Damn It, Jane Damsel. She lives outside Boston with her husband, three Roombas, and two badly behaved cats.
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Most helpful customer reviews
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful. This as the PERFECT vacation/airplane read By J. Drummond This as the PERFECT vacation/airplane read. Despite the hysterical texts from GOD, Patience is a sexy, fun and absorbing character who I loved to follow. It is fast paced, and I found it easy to follow the plot that thickens with every step. The hot leading man with a great sense of humor helped pique my interest as well. Well written and a seriously FUN read.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful. Divine absurdity By Jefferson Lyons With Kurt Vonnegut and Douglas Adams gone, and Tom Robbins not publishing much these days, there aren’t many authors who can make me laugh out loud. Bower Lewis has come along just in time to rescue me from a life of serious fiction. Her debut novel, Patience, My Dear, is a comic adventure of biblical proportions.Patience Kelleher doesn’t want to be schizophrenic, but she isn’t particularly relieved to discover that God really is communicating with her and wants her to save the world. With the Lord constantly texting her from an iPhone He has become much too fond of, Patience and her new neighbor Zane Grey Ellison, a good-natured and open-minded guy who’s experiencing the world outside the walls of his family’s old-money estate for the first time, must thwart a boy-band-singer-turned-politician’s plans to sponsor a solar energy company’s scheme that would end in global destruction. After non-stop divine intervention in the form of home-made emoticons, Patience agrees to do the Lord’s bidding, but her vow that the mission will be accomplished without bloodshed complicates the task, and the caper gets completely out of control when her long-lost Uncle John shows up with an assault rifle strapped to his back.The story moves at lightning speed, with surprises at every turn, and Lewis manages to keep the suspense believable even though one of her main characters is omniscient. The personalities and motivations of all the characters—including God Almighty—are fully developed through action and dialogue, and felt real to me, even when they were in unreal situations doing unreal things. Woven throughout the novel is a blossoming romance between Patience and Zane that provides a sweetly innocent counterpoint to the guns and violence, as well as a timely call for peace in a bloody world—but even God doesn’t get preachy about it. There are lessons to be learned and relationships to be explored, but mostly, Patience, My Dear will make you laugh. A lot!
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful. Phone Texts From God Make This One Different By Marilyn Patience hears voices in her head and assume she's going crazy. Annoyed that they're voices from God—couldn't she at least have less clichéd hallucinations?--she tries to ignore them. Then they come as texts on her phone, complete with emoticons and abbreviations—I M THE LORD UR GOD! :) God is apparently assigning her with the job of rescuing the world from a sinister plot. Patience, a pink-haired, tattooed waitress with problems of her own, is in no mood for this, but the texts keep coming no matter how many phones she destroys. At first, when an attractive super-rich guy showed up, I thought this was going to be a Christian-message Romance, and while that is perfectly fine, it's not my choice of genre. However, Patience, My Dear doesn't fall into that category. It's a wild plot involving an evil scheme, car chases, kidnappings, new love, break-ins, and narrow escapes. Characters include her eccentric, gun-happy uncle who also gets God messages, her grumpy bartender godfather, government agents, the rich man's multi-billionaire father, and assorted villains. It's confusing, and I stopped trying to follow what was happening and just went along for the ride, mainly because I liked Patience. And I liked God, who doesn't explain much but shows humor, exasperation, regret, and forgiveness. And if he can appear in a burning bush, why not a phone text? When Patience asks Him how he can send texts to two phones at once, the reply is, “HELLO? OMNISCIENCE!” Bower Lewis had a clever concept and for the most part it worked for me. It's a fun read.
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