We Need to Talk: How to Successfully Navigate Conflict, by Dr. Linda Mintle
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We Need to Talk: How to Successfully Navigate Conflict, by Dr. Linda Mintle
Read and Download We Need to Talk: How to Successfully Navigate Conflict, by Dr. Linda Mintle
Relationship expert and longtime Christian therapist helps readers identify their conflict style and shares proven strategies to build and maintain healthy relationships.
We Need to Talk: How to Successfully Navigate Conflict, by Dr. Linda Mintle- Amazon Sales Rank: #314653 in Books
- Brand: Mintle, Linda, Dr.
- Published on: 2015-03-03
- Released on: 2015-03-03
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.50" h x .64" w x 5.50" l, .0 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 256 pages
From the Back Cover Grow through conflict into a healthier youConflict is a normal part of our lives and relationships. But the desire to avoid it and the tendency to handle it poorly can get us stuck--or even in trouble. In this practical and approachable book, therapist Dr. Linda Mintle expertly leads you through successful conflict management so that you can enjoy more secure and peaceful relationships. She offers real-world advice based on solid research for marriages, parenting, extended family, ex-spouses, blended families, and friendships. You will learn to· approach conflict in ways that work· problem solve and be more confident· negotiate differences· forgive and move on· strengthen relationships even when conflict seems unsolvableDr. Mintle helps you understand your personal approach to conflict, how it developed, and what you can do to effectively engage with others. Throughout, she directs you to your ultimate source of relational transformation: a loving God.If you want to build and maintain stronger relationships despite conflict, We Need to Talk is the place to start."I cannot urge you enough to go into that talk you need to have, having read this book first. It will give you hope, skills, insight, wisdom, and biblical truth." --John Trent, PhD, Gary D. Chapman Chair of Marriage and Family Ministry and Therapy, Moody Theological Seminary, Chicago; author of The Blessing, Life Mapping, and The Language of Love"Never have I read a book that so thoughtfully and clearly offers solutions for one of life's most troubling issues. Everyone who is married, an in-law, a parent, or simply one who loves another person must read this book."--Meg Meeker, MD, bestselling author, Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters; cohost, Family Talk with Dr. James Dobson Dr. Linda Mintle is a national speaker and bestselling author. She is the Chair of the Division of Behavioral Health at the College of Osteopathic Medicine at Liberty University. Dr. Mintle appears regularly on national broadcasts and is a national news contributor in mental health. In addition, she hosts her own BeliefNet blog, Doing Life Together. She lives in Virginia.
About the Author Dr. Linda Mintle is a national speaker and bestselling author of over fifteen books on relationships and mental health. She is the chair of the Division of Behavioral Health in the Department of Primary Care, at the College of Osteopathic Medicine at Libe
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Most helpful customer reviews
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful. Skills and attitudes to move through conflict By Joan N. Conflict is going to happen. Every personal relationship will have it. Perhaps you avoid conflict at all costs. Perhaps you wade through but cause more problems. Mintle wants readers to successfully talk through personal conflict and has written this book to help build the skills and attitudes necessary to do so.Mintle argues that under the right conditions, relationships will grow in intimacy when conflict is handled properly. She helps us understand the causes of conflict, their styles, the skills needed, the benefits of facing conflict, instruction from the Bible, and good practices.I was impressed with her helping us understand the current influence from the conflict model we have from childhood. That explained much of my own attitude toward conflict. She relates what happens when two people have different conflict styles and the price we pay when we avoid conflict altogether. She reminds us that we may need to readjust our expectations and be more flexible.Mintle covers many interpersonal relationships. She has great teaching on marriage relationships, including in-laws, blended families, divorce, and much more. She has a wealth of information on expectations, values, and beliefs and how those affect conflict. She includes stories from her own counseling, giving great examples of how problems were worked out.I learned a great deal from this book. She reminded me that working through conflict is pleasing to God and is helping the situation. And then there is this proven fact: “...[P]eople who deal with conflict live longer.” (42)I think nearly everyone could benefit from this book. I highly recommend it.I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher for an honest and independent review.
3 of 4 people found the following review helpful. A Good Book for Those Who Are In Conflict (Pretty Much All of Us) By Dr. Mohn Dr. Linda Mintle has written a good book that addresses the causes and resolution of conflict. She has included a little bit about everything to try and address as many people as possible. If you're looking for a book that dives into deep scientific or theological discussion, this is not it. If you're looking for a book that will likely have a few paragraphs that address an immediate issue that you are dealing with, giving good, sound, biblical based and science based advice, this is it.As a student of Attachment Theory, I like the fact that Dr. Mintle includes information about how our bond with our parents, when we are very young children, affects our relationships later in life. "The more secure we are in our early relationships, the more success we have emotionally bonding in our adult lives." (p. 81) While Dr. Mintle barely touches the issue of secure and insecure bonding in her book, she gives enough explanation to help people understand how we are affected and how we can start to bring about change.On page 110, Dr. Mintle addresses three options for dealing with problems that have no obvious solutions: 1. Change how we feel about the problem. 2. Accept the problem. 3. Be willful and stay miserable.As a pastoral counselor, I have worked with people who have had to decide between these options (or by not deciding end up with option #3 by default). Dr. Mintle does an excellent job of looking at the results of choosing each option in a concise manner.I am a person who loves good analogies and I picked one up in this book that I have already used with several clients. On page 112 Dr. Mintle states, "Sometimes when solving a problem seems impossible, you can choose to drop the rope and end the tug-of-war. In tug-of-war, when one person drops the rope, the tension stops and the other person is left holding the rope."I like Dr. Mintle's book and would have given it 5 stars, except for one thing, I do feel that there are times that she uses "male-female" stereotypes. While there may be some "truth" in stereotypes, I don't feel that a good counselor should approach counseling with stereotypes in mind. Having served as a pastoral counselor for many, many years, I have worked with hundreds of clients and have found that most stereotypes must get "thrown out the window." For instance, on pages 89-90, Dr. Mintle refers to how she and her husband have dealt with "Christmas tree issues" in their relationship. She states, "The work involved in getting the tree, setting it up, lighting and decorating it is not worth it in his mind. (Men, stop nodding your heads!)" The last statement, found in brackets, implies that all men would agree with her husband. This is a stereotype and almost caused me to stop reading the book at this point. I'm glad I didn't, but I find these type of statements to be irritating, at the least.Dr. Mintle also states, "We are drawn to those with similar characteristics. In other words, like attracts like." (p. 50) I take issue with this statement. I have often stated, "Opposites attract, get married, and then kill." In my professional experience as a counselor, I have found that close to 80 percent of the couples that I work with have very different temperaments and life experience.Overall, I like this book and feel that it covers a lot of material that is of value to people dealing with conflict (which is all of us in various forms).Disclosure: I received this book free from Baker Books through the Baker Books Bloggers www.bakerbooks.com/bakerbooksbloggers program. The opinions I have expressed are my own, and I was not required to write a positive review. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 http://www.access.gpo.gov/nara/cfr/waisidx_03/16cfr255_03.html.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful. Must read By Doamanda If I ever encounter conflict in my life, I would think that this book would be helpful. That was my thinking when I started reading the book. Fortunate for me, I encountered many opportunities while reading the book to observe how awareness of conflict and strategies to address them presented themselves in my life. As someone who doesn't shy away, I learned much about how resolution of conflict really can be more than a naive goal or a pipe dream. More than just something to hope for, it is truly evidence of God at work in the lives of His children, and reconciliation is a powerful witness of a loving, living God. When you encounter conflict in your life, read the Bible first. Read We Need to Talk next.
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